* Fuzz afk's looking for pliers
<Fuzz> gotta test this device
<Fuzz> afk
<awaken> hehe
<awaken> dan's going to masturbate for the first time
<Fuzz> cool
<Fuzz> it works
* Fuzz is a genius
<Fuzz> hrm
<Fuzz> I really should leave soon
<Fuzz> so I can avoid the mess
<r0c> fuzz, when a guy masturbates, sperm comes out. Since this was your first
      time, it has had many years to age and grow potent
<r0c> i can understand your feelings of wanting to flee the horror
<r0c> but you must face it, and clean it up!


<fnord_> justin, how many girls on irc have you netsexed? 20? 30?
* DarkDawg shrugs
<DarkDawg> i migth have


<dayd> HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE MORNING?
<DaRoach> I DID NOT SLEEP SIR
<DaRoach> THIS IS STILL NIGHT FOR ME
<dayd> I SLEPT WELL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
<DaRoach> I HAVE NOT YET ASKED
<DaRoach> GIVE ME A MINUTE
<DaRoach> *long akward pause*
<DaRoach> HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE MORNING?
<dayd> WELL NOW THAT YOU ASK.
<dayd> I'M A-OKAY.


<fnord_> PsuedoJeffs Burrito Cooking Guide #902: When cooking burritos by their
         instructions, its best to remember that the instructions are based on
         satans microwave, and therefore have no actual influence on your
         burritos. Also, remember that the entire burrito will never cook, no
         matter how many ways you turn the burrito, or how many times you flip
         it.


<no-one> *whack**whack**whack**whack*"oh..hi christine..."*whack**whack**whack*
         *whack**whack*
<DaRoach> *whack**whack**whack**whack**types hehe in #bye so that it looks like
          he isn't masturbating**whack**whack**whack*
<Istrain> *whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack*  /join #beachsex
          *whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack*
<DaRoach> "***Nicole` is online." *whackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhac
          kwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwha
          ckwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhack*
<no-one> *whack**whack**whack**whack**thinks to himself...* "this onehanded
         typing business isn't too bad...i don't type fast so they don't know
         i'm typing onehanded anyway!"*whack**whack**whack**whack**whack*
<no-one> their hands never leave their crotches
<Istrain> *whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack
          **whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whac
          k**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**whack**wha
          ck**whack**whack*
<hexed-> this is why people are afraid of the internet


<DaRoach> the couch has a comfortable indent in the shape of my ass that shows
          i live here


* DaRoach shakes a fist while holding his dick
<DaRoach> er
<DaRoach> that was worded wrong
<DaRoach> i meant my OTHER fist
<DaRoach> the one NOT holding the dick
<no-one> uh
<no-one> you mean you are masturbating
<DaRoach> and i meant to say grabbing my crotch
<DaRoach> no, i mean i was grabbing my crotch and shaking my other hand in the
          form of a fist
<no-one> face it..you mean masturbation


* DaRoach is back, hi [TG]
* DaRoach stretches
<DaRoach> i love a nice hot shower
<DaRoach> don't you?
* DaRoach struts around naked before putting on his thong and sunday skirt
<sewshi> i have lost much respect for you, sir


<DaRoach> kevin fucked himself up
<DaRoach> killed off those last brain cells
<DaRoach> he had three
<DaRoach> one saying "pour drink in glass"
<DaRoach> "put drink in mouth"
<DaRoach> "swallow"
<DaRoach> pour drink in glass died early
<DaRoach> so the drink went straight to his mouth
<DaRoach> swallow died after that
<DaRoach> "put drink in mouth" stayed alive as long as possible
<DaRoach> then it too died


<plazma> so you went to marios, he wasnt awake, went back to jeffs at 3am and
         slept
<DaRoach> damn it plazma
<DaRoach> follow the conversation
<DaRoach> you left out the aliens


<no-one> i think i'm going to go to sleep...because i am tired


<ae> like
<ae> im cool
<ae> i grabbed a bottle of gatorade, and i shook it thinking the cap was on
<ae> it flew everywhere


<DaRoach> god damn it
<DaRoach> i lost the sponge under all the soap suds
<DaRoach> @()#*@$
* DaRoach looks frantically


* morbid was once a sperm? :o


<suzy`> static
<suzy`> everywhere
* suzy` watches lint fly to her legs


<DaRoach> I am Mario Manuel Walker Cuevas Jimenez Mann McKenzie Mendoza
<aNgeLiZe> no ur not :P
<DaRoach> actually, it ends in cuevas
<DaRoach> but its easier to remember this way


* DaRoach tries to bite into a cement brownie
<DaRoach> i'm saving the good ones for everyone else


<Mouseboy> I hate how eudora apoligizes when I dont have new mail


<Aliel> woah kewl
<Aliel> i found a hole in my tongue that i can stick my tooth in


* DiscoDog eats his long john s


<Fuzz> this sucks
<Fuzz> i need to give my lips a break


<Grayvie> i'm so glad i'm not a guy
<awaken_> i'm so glad i'm not a chick
<awaken_> haha
<awaken_> you have boobs
<awaken_> and periods
<awaken_> and pms
<awaken_> and pregnancy
<awaken_> and you have to wipe yourself when you PISS


* ShdwShdw bites down on fnords cock
* ShdwShdw starts chewing on it
<Paige> ouch
<Paige> why does that sound painful
* ShdwShdw rips yer cock off and swallows it
<ShdwShdw> yummy
<Paige> i guess you can't assfuck him anymore jeff =/
<Paige> or anyone else for that matter
<Paige> heh you'll have to let them fuck you
<fnord_> it is his own goddamn fault
<fnord_> that was an expensive dildo too
<fnord_> now i have to replace it
<ShdwShdw> hey
<ShdwShdw> that was some nice dildo
<ShdwShdw> didnt even taste like latex
<fnord_> i had it flavored
<fnord_> real flesh flavor too
<fnord_> expensive shit
<Paige> well uh, jeff..
<Paige> why did you have a dildo where your dick is supposed to be?
<fnord_> because theres more than one shdw in the world


<no-one> 'poop'
<no-one> ahaha


<Clay`> making winamp skins is annoying
<Clay`> but it's fun
<awaken> hehe
<awaken> kind of like trying to whack off while looking at pictures of clay
         morphed into a goat
<awaken> annoying cuz of how hard it is to stay hard
<awaken> but fun cuz you can brag about it later
<awaken> "i managed to get off while looking at clay"


* no-one fucks cats
* no-one moans
* no-one drools
* no-one has sex with horses
* no-one fucks mr ed


<fnord_> you too mario, but dan's the one who gets the ticket.. you're going in
         the luggage, you're skinny enough to fit if you crouch and shit
<DaRoach> damn it
<DaRoach> i always endup in the luggage
<DaRoach> :(
<DaRoach> why cant someone else take the luggage for once?


<Fuzz> EGGROLLS OWN YOU!@#
<DaRoach> eggrolls are like when you fuck up and it rolls onto the floor
<Ventori> what are they
<Ventori> @!?!?!?!
<Ventori> WHAT ARE THEY
<DaRoach> THEY ARE LIKE CHINESE BURRITOS
<DaRoach> ONLY WITHOUT THE BEANS
<Ventori> WHAT!
<DaRoach> RICE AND EGG AND VEGIES AND SHIT


* Titania_ is glad she got on irc...
<Titania_> yiou people make me happier
<DaRoach> hey, why not spread the love?
* DaRoach gets a butter knife and cuts into himself


<toxik> i used my gold spray on my penis.  suddenly i had a trophy.
<bleech> a small one at that.
<neruaL> and a rash??
<toxik> 'twas a joke.
<toxik> i used it on my hair/goatee though
<bleech> i bet your paretns were proud of you.
<toxik> i wasn't at home
<toxik> i was at school
<toxik> like, in the dorm, living there
<toxik> not seeing parents
<toxik> (!)
<bleech> toxik learned to spray shit on him at college!


<r0c> 'Some people say little girls should be seen and not heard.... but I say,
      'OH BONDAGE, UP YOURS!' 1, 2, 3, 4!' 
<Seraphic> *eyes roll back as she faints*


* suzy- gives mario a basket full of cookies
* fnord_ gives mario a basket full of sexual assistive devices
* DaRoach eats a cookie and looks over the sexuals assistives


<positive> they must pay!!!
<EnEsch> everyone must pay!
<EnEsch> pat?
<positive> on my way


<fwee> fucking broncos game is on
* fwee hopes they lose
<ventori> ohyeah
<ventori> football
<fwee> jets deserve it
<ventori> *yawn*
<fwee> oh sorry
<fwee> wanna talk about the new barbie dolls?


<colrebel> load averages: 22.38, 10.68, 5.82
<colrebel> load averages: 44.19, 19.85, 9.62
<icepick> col's trying to code again


<fnord_> <meow> =(-
<fnord_> <meow> that looks bit like a duck
<fnord_> <icepick> meow: have you ever seen a duck?
<fnord_> <icepick> i mean... one that hasn't been exposed to radioactive stuff
<fnord_> :)
<icepick> well
<icepick> it's been a few years now
<icepick> and that's still not a duck


<DarkDawg> .j panties


<colrebel> sigh
<colrebel> there was a customer in here and noob goes "i could pull out my
           fucking dick and whack off till i the ceiling" really loud
<colrebel> everything got quiet


<Istrain> <*)))><
<Istrain> GO FISH
<DiscoDog> ><))))'>
<DiscoDog> go thje otherway fish
<DiscoDog> KICK ASSSSSS
<DiscoDog> KICK KICK KICK
<DiscoDog> SO
<DiscoDog> MUCH 
<DiscoDog> ASS


<Toasty__> been building my desk
<Toasty__> i feel wierd though
<awaken> why?
<Toasty__> not use to having my monitor so far away from me
<Toasty__> its like almost 3 feet away
<Toasty__> maybe 2
<Toasty__> hmmm
<Toasty__> makes everything seem funny from what im use to hehehe
<Toasty__> and with my case on the floor in the cubby I cant hear the hdd like
           usual, so I feel like I have lost a personal connection with my
           computer, hehehe could always tell what it was saying by its hums,
           beeps, and whirs


<Xplosive> i'd shoot you all dead for a 10kbps connection


<awaken> eric
<awaken> did u come over?
<data|rape> i was at your house today.
<awaken> did u see me?
<awaken> the other night sucked
<data|rape> you were asleep
<awaken> i was on the phone with chelsea
<awaken> and something stung my back
<awaken> and it ended up being the condom
<data|rape> ah!
<awaken> i only saw the wrapper from before
<awaken> but damnit
<awaken> why didnt u throw awya the fucking condom
<data|rape> im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry
<awaken> hehe
<awaken> i don't care
<data|rape> i swear to god i thought i did
<awaken> this is the 1 rule u must obey while at my house
<awaken> throw away used condoms


<fluks> tornados exist?
<fluks> i thought they were stuff in movies
<fluks> we don't even get earthquakes over here


<da|d> oh dear
<da|d> i have to leave the city
<da|d> mother fuck
*** da|d has quit IRC (. fucking tornado .)


<yerby> need ramen
<yerby> r
<yerby> a
<yerby> m
<yerby> e
<yerby> n
<yerby> beef ramen
<yerby> must need ramen
<yerby> oh damn I have to clean out the shit out of my bowl from last time's
        ramen
<yerby> urgh


<daed> it's hard masturbating to cinemax when you dont have cinemax


* DarkDawg rubs his penis along the walls and moans


<jiggy]> wanna knwo what i did with it and sql sever 7
<jiggy]> made a relational databse of all the hot girls in my school :)
<jiggy]> SELECT * from women where RATING = "10"


<lst> i just got a fucked up icq
<lst> Hi my name is Alex  I am a 25 year old male crossdresser who enjoys
      wearing soft silk lingerie and women's panties as well as pantyhose.. I
      am bi curious and will talk to anyone.


<r0c> damnit dood
<r0c> this conversation is making me limp
<r0c> and im trying to masturbate with a full bladder


<Istrain> YAY!
<Istrain> I got my shit packed finally


<GurlyGurl> hey guess what?
<GurlyGurl> do you like mice?
<GurlyGurl> well if you put a mouse in a microwave for 3mins. they explode!
<Sonic4> wow
<Sonic4> this is interesting
<GurlyGurl> so my mom went to see what smelled and the tell was hanging from
            the top of the microwave
<Sonic4> oh my GOD
<GurlyGurl> yea i know


-Istrain- [TG/#bye] uh oh
-Istrain- [TG/#bye] i just found out when a fart is more than a fart
-Istrain- [TG/#bye] :(
-Istrain- [TG/#bye] bbiab :(


<DaRoach> HEY
<DaRoach> ITS 5:42
<DaRoach> TIME FOR THE RITUALISTIC MASTURBATION
* DaRoach takes down his pants
* DaRoach gets out the candles


<fnord_> he's just an uncontrollably horny adolescent
<fnord_> give him a break :P
<fnord_> you were like him.. except his penis does most of his thinking
<DaRoach> i was never like him
<DaRoach> :(
<DaRoach> i was never horny
<fnord_> do no tlie
<DaRoach> i went straight from shy child to nerdy adult
<DaRoach> alright, there was some porn involved
<DaRoach> but thats different


<DaRoach> i would kill every last one of you for a pizza, jennifer love hewitt,
          and a 453 day weekend
<no-one> i want a 453 day weekend too
<no-one> actually
<no-one> you would get a 453 day weekend for killing all of us...but you
         wouldn't get jennifer love hewitt or a pizza
<no-one> you'd get to 'pick up the soap'
<no-one> you'd be someone's bitch
<no-one> you'd be chong's bitch
<no-one> YOU'D BE CHONG'S BITCH
<DaRoach> YOU'RE ALREADY SOMEONES BITCH
<DaRoach> YOU'RE YOUR DADDY'S BITCH


<CowboyUp> its on my belt in back
<no-one> uh
<no-one> i'll bet
<no-one> you wear your pants backwards, for the zipper...making it 'easy access'


<Istrain> hehe i wish there stupid IMAC had the internet 


<DaRoach> did i ever tell you why i wanted a team called the "Nads"?
<DaRoach> so when they're winning the crowd will cheer "GO NADS GO NADS GO
          NADS"
<MrNobody> Nads just got sacked
<Trolan> how nutty


<Xplosive> hey fuckers, how come my other machine won't show up on the network?
           :(
<DaRoach> chris: your network?
<DaRoach> did you set up a hub?
<fnord_> chris didnt even think to specify an ip address for his machines
<DaRoach> probably not
<DaRoach> or give them names
<DaRoach> or even installing a network card
<DaRoach> he puts them next to each other, boots up, and scratches his head
<DaRoach> ugh ugh, work compooter, ugh ugh
<DaRoach> ugh ugh!!!! me thump if you no work!
*** Xplosive has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<DaRoach> he thumped his computer :(


<Ritalin:#photography> i love the smell of fixer
<Ritalin:#photography> I just wanna drink gallons of it everytime I sniff it
<Ritalin:#photography> they have to strap me down to keep me from doing it


* Istrain hears a thud sound
<Istrain> oh
<Istrain> hhe
<Istrain> i locked the door
<Istrain> mom must be home
<Istrain> DAMN
<Istrain> she had a key :(


* Kermy can't wait to play Mario 64 and Zelda 64 on his computer
* DaRoach can't wait to see "<Kermy> god damn it, it fucked up and i had to
  reformat"


* Istrain hears sounds of rednecks
* Istrain hears lots of beeping
<Istrain> Springer must be on


<Istrain> I want a climax


* DaRoach is going to be happy for a long time now :)
<DaRoach> )(@*#)(@*#)(*#$(*&#$LKJ)(DUFLJ#W
<Fuzz> mario - why
* suzy` pats mario:)
<awaken> mario realized he does in fact have a penis
<Fuzz> ah
<Fuzz> _I_ knew that


<fnord_> and he went "you son of a bitch"
<fnord_> me: "you motherfucking asshole"
<fnord_> and he left
<fnord_> hehe
<DaRoach> sounds like me and kevin
<DaRoach> "Hey, Kevin. Gotten laid yet?"
<DaRoach> "yeah, like you have"
<Istrain> sounds like me and my mom


<DaRoach> (   ){ @ @ }(   )
<DaRoach> hehe
<DaRoach> figure that one out
<Bascha> someone...
<Xplosive> that's a ...
<Bascha> peeking...
<Xplosive> fuck...
<Bascha> through or between something
* Xplosive scratches his head.
<DaRoach> thats justin peeking out of his moms cha cha before he was born,
          looking at all the nurses and masturbating


<Istrain> I AM WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL....
<Xplosive> A RETARD


<DarkDawg> 3e43345346254\
<verbal> DarkDawg: was that hex?
<DarkDawg> hex?
<Xplosive> verbal: no, he missed his shift key
*** DarkDawg was kicked by Istrain (3e43345346254\ TO YOU TOO!)
*** DarkDawg (Darkwolf@s-s7-p2-85132.saber.net) has joined #bye
<verbal> DarkDawg: oops, I thought you were semi-intelligent for a second


<fnord_> did you go up the world trade center?
<kw0n> no
<kw0n> they wanted $12 for that
<kw0n> i spent my $12 on a fake rolex =/
<kw0n> you can buy the best shit out of briefcases in new york


<ByteMe> uh er um
<ByteMe> I a man of many words


<Neff> what's flash?
<tik> neff
<tik> a bunch of guys go around in a truck
<tik> and hang there ass out the window


* Istrain urinates on kevin
<ByteMe> ah dman it, oo warm


<aphex> Raj- - whats the most you've seen someone make exiting RIT with an IT
        degree?
<EnEsch> aphex: big macs
<Dreadnut> he said IT, not philosophy
<Raj-> Aphex > starting 55K
<EnEsch> What corner were they dealing from?


<Istrain> My dad had me go to the victoria secret show
*** fnord_ has quit IRC (Leaving)
<Istrain> he got pissed and left when he saw how small the screen is on Real
          Player


*** Dreadnut changes topic to 'BEER: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 1869'


<daed> i think i'll take out a loan
<daed> invest in the stock market
<fnord_> with what as collateral?
<fnord_> your computer?
<fnord_> what if the stocks go down?
<fnord_> we'd never see you again
<daed> i know :[
<no-one> DO IT
<no-one> DO IT
<no-one> DO IT


<daed> i dreamt some of the wierdest shit
<daed> everything was so complex
<daed> one story gracefully tied into the next
<DaRoach> i had a dream that i fell asleep in shanes lap and he started raping
          my ear
<daed> WHY CANT I DO THAT MORE OFTEN?
<daed> er
<daed> NO
<daed> FUCK


<DaRoach> do you ever dream that you shoot out of the top of the washington
          monument
<DaRoach> and then land in a lake
<DaRoach> and frolic with dolphins
<Istrain> I DO ALL THE TIME!@#
<DaRoach> thats a common homosexual dream
<Istrain> damnit
<DaRoach> i was just wondering if you had it
<Istrain> i don't then


*** kowch (mookow@p2.t0.rio.com) has joined #bye
<daed> YES CHRIS AND I FUCKED THE BIRD FURIOUSLY
<daed> IS THAT AMUSING?
<no-one> NO
<daed> OK
<no-one> THAT'S NOT FUNNY
<daed> SO HOW THE FUCK
<no-one> that van shit is hilarious htough
<daed> IS WHAT I SAID AMUSING
<kowch> um, i happened to /join at a bad time


<DarkDawg> .j cybersex


<daed> that's sad
<daed> nobody likes yellow sickened corpses
<daed> they want young sexy coeds
<daed> you hormonally-imbalanced fucks


<Istrain> MY DADDY BOUGHT ME SOME HUGGIES BUTT WIPES


<Istrain> damnit my pickle fell off


<awaken> www.kkk.com
<awaken> yea
<awaken> i just went there
<awaken> nasty shit
<awaken> "welcome to our wonderful peaceful KKK page!"
<Istrain> jeff: i can imagine shane a member one day
<Istrain> if he isn't already
<Trolan> I doubt it.  They do have _some_ standards.
<awaken> yeah
<awaken> u have to be racist


<mux> i hate those kind of people that ask you to leave their store
<mux> after you make amess everywhere


<fnord_> i can't wait to get back home
<fnord_> i can kick chris in the nuts again
<chopp> that sound painful for chris
<fnord_> he's perfectly fine with me kicking him in the nuts.. right, chris?
<no-one> fuck you.
<no-one> i didn't want kids anyway.


* Istrain is away, putting on my underwear (let's see) yellow spot in front,
  brown spot in back?


<Istrain> my mommas so stupid she didn't put me up for adoption
<Istrain> er your mommas


<DaRoach> and while i was in line i was looking at the list of movies and
          thinking of other names for them
<DaRoach> like oriface space
<DaRoach> shes all fat
<DaRoach> jaw opener
<DaRoach> the savior formally knows as prince of egypt
<DaRoach> comeback
<DaRoach> My Favorite Moron
<DaRoach> A Simple Action
<DaRoach> A Civil Plan
<DaRoach> Massage In A Bottle
<DaRoach> You Got Nailed


<fnord_> man, that's so nasty
<fnord_> was that blue snot or something?
<awaken> what?
<awaken> fnord: did you have any of that elmer's blue gel glue?
<awaken> usually if i eat too much of it my snot turns blue
<awaken> and my ears
<fnord_> on tv
<awaken> you should probably drink some water
<awaken> oh
<awaken> forget i said anything then


<ErthAngel> and...you have a problem with giving head?
<fwee> to guys, yeah..
<fwee> to girls no
<fwee> (=
<PitBu||> uh....girls dont have a head
<fwee> yeah but you can lick'em
<PitBu||> at least down there that is
<fwee> so that can be considered sorta


<Clay`> know how much l1 cache a p3 has?
<Clay`> someone fucken tell me
<Clay`> damnit
<sewshi> are you going to get a tattoo the l1 cache amount of a p3 on your
         peepee?
<sewshi> too bad my sentence didn't make sense
<Clay`> uh huh
<sewshi> now i just look dumb
<Clay`> THATS WHY I NEED TO FUCKEN KNOW
<awaken> no thats reserved for the brand of his motherboard
<awaken> but it has to be a four-letter word
<awaken> like soyo, abit, or asus or tyan
<awaken> because he wants 1 inch per letter
<awaken> and that's all that will fit


<Xplosive> you suck.
<prine> :D c====)
<prine> ^^ burrito
<Xplosive> you eat some fucked up burritos.
<prine> doesn't look quite right does it
<fnord_> <Xplosive> you suck.
<fnord_> <prine> :D c====)
<fnord_> sierra calls them burritos


<fnord_> SCAN NOW
<Istrain> hehe
<Istrain> first i have to find my scanner 
<Istrain> it is on this desk someplace
<Istrain> oh
<Istrain> my cleaning method rocks!
* Istrain throws everything that is on the scanner on the floor
<Istrain> oops
<Istrain> i heard glass
* Istrain shrugs


<awake> i bet you woke up kr0n in the middle of the night by lapping at his
        anus
<awake> that's how vira made *my* childhood interesting


<Istrain> 'look what i got mommy'
<Istrain> *FLASH*
<Istrain> 'AHHHHHHHHH'


<mrcide> john
<mrcide> wanna buy a cd64
<awaken_> a what?
<awaken_> is that an n64 rom cd burner/reader?
<awaken_> FUCK YOU
<mrcide> no thanks
<awaken_> what is it
<awaken_> danny
<awaken_> tip
<awaken_> never become a merchant
<awaken_> "good evening sir, would you like to buy a.. *pass out for no
          apparent reason*"


<DaRoach> lego taught me that there is a supreme balance amongst all living
          creatures, and the harmony one must possess in order to keep in
          balance
<Xplosive`> you're stupid.
<Xplosive`> you're incredibly stupid.
* Xplosive` brands "i'm a retard" to mario's forehead.


<chickey> I'd like to see bill gates dead = I'll drink to that
<sk> bah ;) you wouldn't be chatting on the net right now if it wasn't for bill
     gates
<iode> exactly
<iode> DOWN WITH BILL GATES


<__axis> possiblity is irrelevant
<__axis> because
<__axis> anything is possible
<__axis> except me getting laid


<Blondieee> hello
<Blondieee> anyone here?
<Blondieee> anyone interesting?
<r0c> Blondieee: meet Willie, my one eyed friend
<Blondieee> scary
<r0c> dont tease him
<Blondieee> most of us have two eyes
<Blondieee> sorry
<r0c> or he'll spit on you
<Blondieee> gross
<Blondieee> i don't like saliva
<r0c> don't worry
<r0c> my dick only spits out sperm
<Blondieee> especially from one-eyed people
<Blondieee> i'm getting off this channel
<Blondieee> you are sick


<vira> iode: you have an annoying habit of telling my parents sensitive
       information
<vira> iode: in the future, please consider carefully whether the pleasure of
       telling mom something incredible balances with the trouble it will cause
       me


<no-one> i found some picture of some girl and some guy in my trig book
<no-one> it sucks
<Istrain> this sucks
<fnord_> you suck

	
<hey> i just have really really bad diarrhea all the time
<Istrain> cause yous ass is all pluged up from being rammed
<yerby> no shit


<fnord_> im full of shit, piss & vinegar
<no-one> jeff: eat some baking soda and become a science project


<dayd> my god
<dayd> they sell cdroms with useless software bundled in


<DaRoach> jeff was my date last year
<DaRoach> he sucked
<DaRoach> didnt say a word
<DaRoach> :(
<DaRoach> just stood around and kept waving his hand in these weird gestures
<DaRoach> sure, maybe he was trying to tell me something
<DaRoach> but all got to be too much. didnt even tell me how good i looked :(
* DaRoach cries


<fungus> anal masturbation is not the answer


<Xplosive> <Xplosive> i'll bet you have all goat shit in the six inches between
           your ears.
<Istrain> <Xplosive> <Xplosive> i'll bet you have all goat shit in the six
          inches between your ears.
<Istrain> AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<DaRoach> <Istrain> <Xplosive> <Xplosive> i'll bet you have all goat shit in
          the six inches between your ears.
<DaRoach> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<fnord_> <DaRoach> <Istrain> <Xplosive> <Xplosive> i'll bet you have all goat
         shit in the six inches between your ears.
<fnord_> AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
<KoW> <fnord_> <DaRoach> <Istrain> <Xplosive> <Xplosive> i'll bet you have all
      goat shit in the six inches between your ears.
<KoW> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


<KrON> i just tried to drink a thing of raquetballs


<Donman> mmm... hershey's nuggets
<Dreadnut> mmmm... fecal matter...
<EnEsch> mmm... anal penetration


*** chuck (~djinn@panther.worthlink.net) has joined #bye
<Istrain> wherd chuck go?
*** chuck has quit IRC (changing servers)
<KoW> he is in the channel


<_TeC_> GS, you think sex is over-rated?
<GothSmurf> yes sir
<_TeC_> in what ways...let's talk about it
<GothSmurf> uh, twas a bit of a let down


<_PhAnTaSm> There is this girl in my class that looks like claire danes.
<Kelnar> there is this girl in my class that looks like a great dane.


<sOOz-E-Q> what do i do to make it work
<apheks> ctl-alt-del twice quickly
*** sOOz-E-Q has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
*** sOOz-E-Q (smo5282@d113-l075.rh.rit.edu) has joined #rit
<apheks> sOOz-E-Q: did you hit ctl-alt-del ?
<sOOz-E-Q> you neee to die


<TheLion> mine is stiff at 1/500th
<Kelnar> The women must not like you, then.


<awaken> when my kids are 8, im gong to butt fuck them


<KrON> i hear the new polish navy has glass bottom boats to see the old polish
       navy


<sig> all three of em are gonna get fired, just wait and see
<sig> hehe
<fnord_> ehhe
<geekyo> hahahha
<geekyo> hahah
<geekyo> hahahahah
<fnord_> uh
<sig> it's not *that* funny dumbas


* KoW projectile vomits with joy


<Istrain> its going to be hard to fart after i have anul sex for the first time


<DarkDawg`> i forgot which one is witch long ago


<holykow> i hate 56k modems
<holykow> especially when we don't have fiber optics and it feels like
          connecting at whatever speed it wants to
* PitBu|| points and laffs at cassie
* holykow pulls pitbu||s finger
* PitBu|| farts on istrain
* Istrain food
<Istrain> er
* Istrain is away: [food]


<fnord_> smartmouf wanna go out?
<SmartMouf> bugger all, i dunno, fnord_
<fnord_> damn it, rejected by a bot


<no-one> today's the grand opening of albertsons.
<no-one> the new one.
<no-one> there was a ribbon and all.
<no-one> the ukiah high cheerleaders were there, and dr phil gary.
<no-one> and mr richardson.
<no-one> i didn't see anyone else.
<DaRoach> uh
<DaRoach> dude, they just sell food for christs sake
<DaRoach> wtf?
<no-one> they moved, fuckwad.
<no-one> to the old kmart.
<DaRoach> i know they moved
<no-one> oh, yeah, jim mastin was there.
<no-one> mayor of ukiah.
<DaRoach> wow
<DaRoach> theres a mayor?
<no-one> yeah.
<DaRoach> does he do anything?
<Damn_it> this Albertson's has new features that the other ones don't
<DaRoach> internet access?
<Damn_it> not like that
<DaRoach> escalator?
<Damn_it> yeah in a one story building
<no-one> yeah.
<DaRoach> great glass elevator?
<DaRoach> robot cashiers?


<no-one> whoever becomes president next is going to have some mighty large
         shoes to fill.
<DaRoach> or a mighty intern to fill


<no-one> i want to make another funny log.
* no-one grins.
<DaRoach> FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY
<DaRoach> FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY
<DaRoach> FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY
<DaRoach> FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY
<DaRoach> FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY
<DaRoach> log that
<no-one> don't fill my log with bullshit, fucker.


<Istrain> model = anyone that is willing to take her clothes off for me
<fnord_> desperate = anyone that is willing to take her clothes off for you


<jrpf> i already went in search of cock
<jrpf> i mean
<jrpf> god damn
<Grank> what?????
<jrpf> that came out REALLY wrong
*** Dreadnut changes topic to '<jrpf> i already went in search of cock'
<jrpf> i went to that thing in the topic
<jrpf> SHIT
<jrpf> DAMMIT
<jrpf> take that off
<Dreadnut> oh the truth comes out


<lulu_18> i feel like it only went half way..
<tenchi26> ypu my dog liked it


<awaken> i have a fuckin pimple on my lower back
<awaken> fuck u
<awaken> stupid fuckin mini-orb of pain


*** Seraphic was kicked by DarkSpiff (Flood! See ya later slut!)
<fnord_> uh oh
<fnord_> darkspiff has a death wish
*** Seraphic (sisters2@stl-wa51-33.ix.netcom.com) has joined #zero
<Seraphic> Slut?
<Seraphic> That I object to
<vira> whoops, darkspiff is in for a world o' hurt
* fnord_ runs for cover
* Seraphic growls
* rc0-gkbgk seeps into the cracks
* vira shimmers slightly into intangibility


<fnord_> dibs on her scrotum
<vira> since when do girls have scrotums?
<no-one> vira: rupaul.


*** aphex changes topic to '/\_oIo_/\'
<sigma> what's that!
<sigma> huh! huh!
*** positive changes topic to '_/\{o}/\_'
<sigma> ooh i get it
<sigma> it's a flower?


<rory_> fuk u bich mcds rulz i wil kik ur as fag!!!!


<KoW> *** Joins: LEET_CAPS (__________@wtrb-sh1-port81.snet.net)
<KoW> <LEET_CAPS> hi
<KoW> <LEET_CAPS> what does ops do ?
<KoW> *** LEET_CAPS was kicked by KoW (it does this.)
<KoW> *** Joins: LEET_CAPS (__________@wtrb-sh1-port81.snet.net)
<KoW> <LEET_CAPS> oh
<KoW> <LEET_CAPS> wow


<Xplosive> that's why i'm not going.
<Istrain> you, your hair, and all our stuff wouldn't fit in the trunk


<Istrain> I FORGOT TO WAKE UP


* Istrain kicks jeff in the fingers
* Istrain smashes jeffs nuts
<Istrain> oh wait
<Istrain> i got that backwards
* Istrain kicks jeff in the nuts
* Istrain smashes jeffs fingers


<DarkDawg> i have womanly feartures but i am still male


<Amos> Anyone know of a unkown bug in windows?


<fnord_> bananas are good for potassium
<no-one> no theyr'e not.
<no-one> if you toss them in water, they don't blow up
<no-one> they suck


<KLJASFG> i hate this isp with all of my inner chickens heart and soul.
<KLJASFG> and guts


<Peat-> asa:  W'hoo.  You know, they used to call me Peat the Ass Pirate.  :P


<Istrain> some weird homeless guy chased me
<Istrain> he was yelling all theses weird things


* ZED licks christal in the face like a puppy dog
<SCARLETT-> ewwww
<ZED> I need something salty and bitter
<ZED> like your face
<SCARLETT-> :(
<SCARLETT-> my face isnt salty and bitter *sniff*
<ZED> here, let me pea on you
* ZED snickers
<ZED> oh man, I better leave 
<ZED> like no
<ZED> now
*** ZED (zed@chipsworld.llamas.net) has left #warez-paige
<SCARLETT-> lol
<fnord_> hehehe
<fnord_> let me taste *lick*
<fnord_> it tastes like zed!
<SCARLETT-> ewww
<fnord_> i'd recognize that taste anywhere!
<fnord_> oh shit never mind


<fnord_> look what just went on in icq:
<fnord_> justin> where can i get a book like unix for dummies or teach yourself
         unix in 24 hr's?
<fnord_> me> the bookstore, and i'm dubious i should even help you at all since
         you can't muster up the common sense needed to tell you that YOU FIND
         BOOKS AT THE GOD DAMN BOOKSTORE


<Dreadnut> to go to class
<Dreadnut> or not to go to class
<jrpf> i skipped today
<jrpf> in fact
<jrpf> i'm skipping righ tnow!!!!
<Dreadnut> wasting your parents money like that...
<Dreadnut> shameful!
<jrpf> it's my parents money and i can do whatever the hell i want with it


<Istrain> i'm not an idot


<Istrain> what did you people do for entertainment before i typed /j #bye for
          the first time?
<fnord_> sierra: had intelligent conversations


<Xplosive> some retard asked me to check if his shell's eggable...so i log in,
           and it's a mother fucking bbs.


<KoW> man, my brothers eyeliner was running the other day


<Istrain> i was taking a shit once, and i looked out threw the crack and there
          was this retarded go masturbating in the middle of the bathroom


<Xplosive> i have to wear briefs, because when i wear boxers and i get a
           raging hard-on, and i start to run, if i hit a wall, i hit it penis
           first.


<geekchris> i walked out the door form open labb..and i was like..shit...who
            hit me in the face witha snowball..then i wa like..heh..who did it
            again..then i wsa liek..man..they keep doin it!!...then i realized
            that thete must be tons of angro ppl up on the building chuckin
            mass amounts of snowballs at me...then i FINALLY realized..THAT IT
            IS RAINING..YES..NOT SNOWING..BUT IT IS RAINING SNOWBALLS!!!!!!!!!


<jrpf> well that was fun and amuzing
<Grank> amusing
<Grank> or amazing
<Grank> not amuzing
<Grank> dumbass
<jrpf> uh
<jrpf> you spelled amusing wrong
<jrpf> oh wait
<jrpf> i did
<Grank> amuse + ing = amusing
<jrpf> dammit i'm so fucking stupi
<Grank> d


<Istrain>                      We found no matches for keywords: "porn". Below
          are results for the keywords include "born". If you prefer, you may
<Istrain>                      try another search. 
<Istrain> STUPID AMAZON
<Istrain> Pornographers, The (1966) 
<Istrain>                      Reel.com does not offer this movie on video at
          this time.
<Istrain> dickweeds
<Istrain> I WANT PORN!


<Istrain> It normally means I like a person if I don't get all horny and shit
          about them. Just want to be around them.


<Neff> i love YOOOOOOO
<awaken_> i love you too neff
* awaken_ bends over for Neff
* awaken_ spreads his buttcheeks
<awaken_> come on
* Neff shaves awaken.
<awaken_> stick me with that bent banana!
<Neff> your ass is too hairy, sir
<awaken_> you get off to hairy ass
<awaken_> :(
<Neff> i can't navigate
<awaken_> sure you can
<awaken_> just use your nose
<awaken_> here
<Neff> uh
<awaken_> ill fart to make it easier
<awaken_> just follow the ripples in space and time!
<Neff> hehe
<Neff> i'm hungry


<awaken_> go away you stupid moth!
* awaken_ smacks the moth that just farted on his hand
<awaken_> whenever a moth touches you
<awaken_> it feels like you're being farted on


<UWanker> anyone know where the nearest back of van store is?


<sigma> once in grand central
<sigma> i was with a friend
<sigma> and we were waiting for a kid called mike
<sigma> and he's yellin pretty loud MIKE
<sigma> and im like dood how many mikes do you think there are in here
<sigma> and he says i dunno
<sigma> i tell him "half the people in here are mikes, the other half consists
        of bob's"
<sigma> and some guy turns around and says "huh?"


<Clay`> when yur overclocking a celeron 300a, does the mb have to support up to
        what you want to set it at?
<awaken_> uh
<awaken_> clay you're a fucking moron
<Clay`> i've never overclocked anything
<awaken_> "when you buy a monitor, does the cable have to be able to fit in the
          back of a video card?"
<awaken_> "when you buy a mouse, do you have to press buttons for the clicky
          sounds?"
<Clay`> cuz like i could set it higher than what the manual says it supports
<awaken_> "when you want to shave your flock of sheep, does that mean they
          won't have any hair on their backs for a while?"
<awaken_> "when you eat food, does that mean you have to swallow it in order to
          digest it?"
<awaken_> "when you're thirsty, does that mean you need to drink some liquid?"
<awaken_> "when you're stupid, does that mean you're a goat like clay?"
<awaken_> "when you smell bad, does a shower usually clean you up?"
<awaken_> "when you have bad eyesight, do glasses have to fit your prescription
          in order to provide optimal vision?"
<awaken_> ok let's start with number #1 of those questions and go down all the
          way to #8
<awaken_> DUH.. DUH.. DUH.. DUH.. DUH.. DUH.. DUH.. DUH!!!!!!
<Clay`> i guess that's a yes
<awaken_> no
<awaken_> it's a DUH!!!!!!!!


<no-one> i have been kicked in the nuts throughout my life.
<no-one> man...
<no-one> now that i think about it...
<no-one> i've had atleast one good kick once a year since i moved up here.


<fnord_> hey sierra
<fnord_> make a fool of yourself
<fnord_> im bored
<daed> hm
<daed> hahahah
<daed> jeff you sick fuck.
<fnord_> what? it's a perfectly legitimate request, and he's fully capable of
         fulfilling it


<shitted> those computer poetry are the best
<awaken_> those computer poetry are the best?
<awaken_> wow
<awaken_> i'm stupid
<awaken_> with stupid people grammar


<Neff> my dick looks like a deformed banana
<fungus> my penis has 4 finger groves in the left side
<fnord_> ok
<fnord_> that is just wrong


<Xplosive> if i got a webcam, i'd point it at a empty chair and make it look
           like i had a life.


<Paladin3> if you don't get in there and get dirty or wet you're not doing
           it right.


<Luv2Shoot> bend over kelnar
* Kelnar puts on the steel briefs.
* Luv2Shoot puts on the armor piercing cock


<DarkDawg> been long time sence last i say you


<Xplosive> UPDATE QUOTES, FUCKER.
<Xplosive> it's been over a week.
<Xplosive> i'm going to die.
<fnord_> say funny shit
<Trolan> funnyshit
<Istrain> funny
<fnord_> you can't even say funny shit without fucking up
<Xplosive> you two are stupid.
<Trolan> course, I'm typing with both hands


<Istrain> word of advice, don't eat old sausage


<no-one> do you have cavhub?
<fnord_> yes
<fnord_> i have it as in the fact that i have obtained it, and that it is in my
         keeping, but i do not have it in the way that i directly possess it,
         nor do i have it in my direct keeping
<no-one> FUCK YOU AND YOUR FANCY LANGUAGE.
* no-one 's brain fries.


<KoW> some dude on the worlds most amazing videos had his head stuck up an
      elephants asshole
<KoW> and he got it out and it was sopping wet
<KoW> i bet he smelled like petunias
<fnord_> i bet he smelled like elephant shit
<fnord_> and elephant cum, if the elephant was homosexual
<fnord_> it'd be funny if another elephant started buttfucking the one he had
         his head stuck in
<fnord_> he'd get rammed down the anus
<Trolan> I don't think hed fine it very funny
<DaRoach> shoved all the way up there
<DaRoach> i don't think the elephant whose ass he was in would find it funny
          either
<DaRoach> be all "FUCK! PULL OUT!"
<DaRoach> and the other elephant would be all "DAMN BITCH, YOU GOT TIGHTER"


<Neff> there once was a boy named tik
<Neff> who had a fabulous nine inch dick
<Neff> it's head was shaped like a 'shroom
<Neff> he thought he sat on a broom
<Neff> but it was really neff's big ol' stick
<Neff> :D
<DiscoDog> neff
<DiscoDog> that was beautiful
<DiscoDog> dont ever let me think about that again


<Istrain> i'm trying to stretch my blatter out, make it so i don't have to piss
          so much
<Istrain> i figure the best way to do it is drink a bunch at once, and hold it
          as long as i can


<no-one`> HEY
<no-one`> JEFF
<no-one`> ARE YOU GOING TO GRADUATION?
<fnord_> no
<DaRoach> JEFF DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP FOR GRADUATION WHEN HE GRADUATED
<no-one`> damn it.
<DaRoach> HE HAS A JEFF FREDRICKSON REAL DOLL
<DaRoach> HE SET IT UP TO LOOK LIKE HE WAS THERE
<DaRoach> SO HE COULD SLEEP


<no-one`> i have a boner.
* no-one` shows it to everyone.
<BlewZ> hmm. It's usually not THAT bad.
<PitBu||> damnit....quit talking about your penis
<no-one`> ..PitBu||: it's my pride and joy.


<Istrain> i just picked up a coke can and took this big swig
<Istrain> this fucking thing has been here for days


<Xplosive> mellanie fuck me
* Mellanie gets out her whip and chains, gazing over at Xplosive >:)
<Xplosive> whoa..


<Istrain> COME ON PEOPLE I NEED SHIT THAT WILL HELP
<fnord_> what help?
<fnord_> mental?
<Istrain> exactly.
<Istrain> er


<KoW> HI
<afrotard> salut, KoW
<KoW> dont call me a slut


<mookow> daed: and my pussy yelled "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING DAD. DON'T
         BEAT ME UP LIKE THAT COZ YOU WILL NEVER BE THE MAN MY GRANDMOTHER
         WAS" and then the pussies dad said "jee brucie, why are you so
         fruity?"


<Istrain`> have you ever crossed your legs and kicked yourself in the balls?
<Istrain`> i just did :/


<daed> (root@disdain):/mp3# dd if=/dev/hdc of=mp3-1.img
<daed> dd is neat.
<daed> i suggest you all use it.
<daed> it would take you roughly 242 clicks to make an image of a cd
<daed> where it takes me 27 keystrokes.
<daed> and if you think about it, 27 keystrokes for someone who types 110wpm
       alphanumerically
<daed> a very short amount of time compared to your clicks and waits!
<daed> ATAPI device hdc:
<daed>   Error: Illegal request -- (Sense key=0x05)
<daed>   Illegal mode for this track or incompatible medium -- (asc=0x64,
         ascq=0x00)
<daed> hdc: command error: status=0x51 { DriveReady SeekComplete Error }
<daed> hdc: command error: error=0x54
<daed> end_request: I/O error, dev 16:00 (hdc), sect
<daed> erm.,
<daed> apparently i have a problem.
<Xplosive> AHA! it'll take you more than 27 keystrokes compared to my 250
           clicks.
* Xplosive kicks daed in the nuts.


<PitBu||> SHUT UP....YOU FUCKING DIPSHITS QUIT CORRECTING THE WAY I SPELL
          MASTERBATE....JUST CAUSE I CAN"T SPELL IT DOESN"T MEAN I CAN"T DO IT
          LIKE A PRO


* KoW gives justin a paintball
* fnord_ takes the paintball and smashes it against justin's forehead
* KoW slaps jeff across the face
* DarkDawg cleans up
* Xplosive masturbates.
* Mellanie covers her eyes.


* sierra flips off all that is pissing him off
<sierra> this may take awhile


<Xplosive> i was so fucked up last night, i couldn't keep an erection.


<Xplosive> i just farted
<Xplosive> and i felt the sound vibrations in the chair
* Xplosive wins.


<fnord_> you're a dumbass
<DarkDawg> naw
<DarkDawg> well
<DarkDawg> yeah
<DarkDawg> but not really


<wolfchunk> i jub you vera much cassina
<CoW> I JUB YOU MORE AIMEE
<wolfchunk> hehehe
<wolfchunk> nuh uh
<CoW> you hush
* CoW backhands you
* Kermy rolls his eyes
<Kermy> Lesbians...


*** Xtreme1!rryll@edm-ab3-39.netcom.ca joined #bye @<11:23:25 PM>
<Xtreme1> hey
<Xtreme1> what's up
<chickey> GO AWAY
*** Xtreme1!rryll@edm-ab3-39.netcom.ca left #bye @<11:24:13 PM>
<chickey> wow ;)


<fnord_> hehe, at camp i wrote "i'm so hungry i could drink a barrel of piss,
         eat the barrel and then eat the horse that pissed in it"
<fnord_> and showed it to this girl
<fnord_> and she made this "OH SICK" face and shoved me out of the way and
         threw the paper at me
* fnord_ grins 
<Xplosive> that is sick :P
<fnord_> i rock


<DaRoach> tech support rocks
<DaRoach> except when stupid people ask perfectly sane questions
<DaRoach> and i get lost
<DaRoach> then i hate it
<DaRoach> and i say "PENALTY HOLD FOR 5 MINUTES"
<DaRoach> and i put them on hold
<DaRoach> walk-through setup for G3
<DaRoach> god no
<DaRoach> she doesn't know how to use a mac either
<DaRoach> i'm feeling pretty shitty right now
* DaRoach thinks quick
* DaRoach hangs up
<DaRoach> that was close


* your butt itches
* my butt does not itch
* your butt is moldy then :/
* my butt is not moldy
* your mom braids your butthair though
* my mom does not braid my butthair
*** DJCrom changed nickname -> his
* his mom does too braid it, ive seen it


<gnurgle> I've got lenses. They kick bottom.
<Xplosive> you mean "ass"
<gnurgle> Oh.
<gnurgle> I'e got ass. They kick bottom.
<Xplosive> fucking shit


<Xplosive> only in america would we create a mask that'd send electric pulses
           through your muscles to flex them and get a workout without doing
           shit.
<delx> woah shit they made that?
<Xplosive> delx: yeah.
<delx> i want a workout without doing shit
<delx> how much $ ?
<Xplosive> delx: get a mask.
<Xplosive> delx: i don't know...
<delx> well if it costs more than $13.27 im fucked
<delx> because im damned broke


<awaken> the only jokes he pisses his pants about in laughter are mine.
<awaken> take for example, this one:
<Xplosive> hmm...
<Xplosive> confident, are we?
<awaken> if humans werent supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
<awaken> uh.
<awaken> that wasnt my joke anyway.


<Xplosive> one time, i was going to the post office with kevin, and we see
           this cop walking down the street, just about to get in his car, so
           we drive past him, and kevin tells me what he saw out of his rear
           view mirror
<Xplosive> "god damn, that fat ass can't even fit in the car..." "what the
           fuck happened to him after he passed the weight limit in the
           academy?"
<Xplosive> he started going off about a fat cop that couldn't fit in his cop
           car.


<DJCrom> Random Fact: "No word in the English language rhymes with month,
         orange, silver or purple."
<Xplosive> according to a dictionary, liver rhymes with silver.
<DJCrom> wel lthe dictionary is wrong
<DJCrom> my scripts are always right
<DJCrom> :)
<Xplosive> OK, GO TELL WEBSTER HE'S WRONG.
<DJCrom> websteer's a small little black man with a drug problem
<DJCrom> like HE knows how to rhyme
<Xplosive> uh...you forget, you fuckwad...little black people with crack
           problems are the people that know how to rhyme...look at fucking dr
           dre.
<Xplosive> or ice cube.
<DJCrom> uhm
<DJCrom> im talking about sitcom actors
<DJCrom> not gansta rappers
<DJCrom> +g
<Xplosive> oh


<DaRoach> chris?
<DaRoach> you here?
<DaRoach> CHRRIIIISS
<fnord_> hehe
<DaRoach> chris is a retard
<DaRoach> so are you
<DaRoach> you suck
<DaRoach> i just ate lunch alone in a room full of 18 year old girls with
          short short shorts
<DaRoach> and skirts
<DaRoach> and tight shirts
<Xplosive> FUCK
<Xplosive> where?
<DaRoach> there you are
<DaRoach> bitch
<DaRoach> thought you could hide
<DaRoach> well fuck you


<da3d> i enjoy that "nobody's at the office and i just took a shit" feeling.


<Istrain> i also want to see dick
<Xplosive> i don't want to know about your gay porn fantasies.
* Xplosive wins.
<Istrain> its a movie you dork
<Trolan> eek
<Trolan> a movi of your dick?  ew.  must be a short film


<daed> i was in the process of phonesex, and my stepfather was listening the
       entire time.


<DarkDawg> they changed there minds
<gnurgle> 'their'
<Xplosive> HEY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT...NOW YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES
           SPEAKING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CORRECTING YOUR DUMB ASS.
<gnurgle> I think it's third language.
<gnurgle> I'm supposed to have Icelandic as second.
<Xplosive> HEY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT...NOW YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES
           SPEAKING ENGLISH AS A THIRD LANGUAGE CORRECTING YOUR DUMB ASS.


* DaRoach is away, lying down [TG]
* DaRoach is away, lying down [TG]
* DaRoach is away, lying down [TG]
<DaRoach> damn it
<DaRoach> i like to lay down a lot


<DarkDawg> brb i smell snmoke
<DarkDawg> someone was smoking and the a/c carried the smell to the living
           room 
<DaRoach> justin: your neighbor is smoking right next to your ac? you're being
          stalked man
<DaRoach> he's waiting for you to drop something
<DaRoach> then he'll be all "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL PIGGY!"
<DaRoach> and assram you
<DarkDawg> no it is my mom';s rommemate type person's daughter
<DarkDawg> roommate
* DaRoach backspaces
<DaRoach> then she'll be all "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL PIGGEH!"
<DaRoach> and stick a broom up your ass
<DaRoach> also possible things for her to yell out:
<DaRoach> "RAMMING SPEEEEEEEEEED"
<DaRoach> "TARGET SIGHTED"
<DaRoach> "LOADING TORPEDO"
<gnurgle> er
<gnurgle> You are one sick trekkie.


<KoW> whoa, my nipples are erect
<KoW> egads
<KoW> i could stab someboddys eye out


<KoW> wanna come too jeff?!
<fnord_> no
<KoW> why not?
<fnord_> i'll be busy getting drunk, stoned and laid
<KoW> liar :P
<fnord_> ok
<fnord_> i'll be busy getting drunk and stoned
<fnord_> that's about 500% more believable now


*** Signoff: Trunkz (FUCKING MOM)


<DaRoach> i have executed my god given right as an america
<DaRoach> and peed in my backyard
<DaRoach> the cats seemed confused as to what i was doing
<DaRoach> but i'm sure in their heads they were thinking "thats right... you
          PROVE youre an america!"
<DaRoach> an american


<DaRoach> i mean, you're damned house is like a mini-fry's
<DaRoach> computer parts scattered around the place
<DaRoach> friendly people when you come in
<DaRoach> almost nothing works


<Xplosive> i've been a winner all my life.
<Trolan> no chris, that's a 'weiner' all your life


<DarkDawg> i assume someone in this house is a retard
<DarkDawg> besides me


<Bascha> mario's the only good lookin' one around here
<Spamanda> Especially in the dark.
<Trolan> in the dark, after 65 beers and  abag on his head


<^aL> I like this channel
<Xplosive> why?
<^aL> when you guys aren't mean ;\
<Xplosive> oh


<Istrain> its really hard to do my homework when i have to keep leaving my
          desk due to large farts


<Istrain> i'm back, so you all can feel better now
<fnordtoo> why do i feel worse?
<Istrain> because you're so far away from me.
<Istrain> all the way across the country.
<fnordtoo> now i feel better for some reason


<_hAZE_> Wow.
<_hAZE_> I just ripped a 5.1 fartquake.


<DarkDawg> easy come easy go
<Bascha> easy cum easy blow
<Bascha> that's what i always say


<DaRoach> ah fuck
<DaRoach> i was scratching a bump on my hand
<DaRoach> without realizing i was using the tip of my pen to do it
<DaRoach> now i have ink all over me


<sierra> @m nakedkp I BET YOU'D ENJOY A HOT MEAT INJECTION
<fnordtoo> HOT BEEF INJECTION
<sierra> meat beaf.. same fucking thign
<Xplosive> beaf
<Xplosive> ahaha
<KoW> HAHAHAH
<KoW> BEAF
<KoW> BEAF, IT"S WHATS FOR DINNERGHAHGAHHAHA
<sierra> @m nakedkp BEAF, ITS WHATS FOR DINER, NOW OPEN UP BITCH AND TAKE IT
         ALL.


<DaRoach> um..no hablas espanol
<DaRoach> good fako though


<DaRoach> i got a call
<DaRoach> and i said "thank you for calling saber net, this is mario, how may i
          help you?"
<DaRoach> and the person on the other line goes "cuevas?"
<DaRoach> "what?"
<DaRoach> "mario cuevas?"
<DaRoach> "uh..."
<DaRoach> "this is mr. johnson!"
<DaRoach> i don't know how he recognized my voice
<DaRoach> unless i talk in my sleep


<fnordtoo> <Istrain> damnit my pickle fell off
<Istrain20> well.. it did
<Istrain20> once
<Istrain20> i put it back in the buns though
<Istrain20> it tasted damn good
<Xplosive> he sucked all the juice out of his pickle, before gobbling it down.


* kie thwaps her rather disobedient keyboard.
<sierra> kie: my keyboard suck too :(
<Xplosive> sierra: there's a difference, she probably didn't get cum in hers
           to make the keys stick.
<kie> i love that stuff. :)


<retard_> I need a certain advice but nobody looks like to give fuck


<_hAZE_> My pubic hair is over an inch long, I need to shave it.


<UWanker> what the hell is taking so much space on my C drive?
<DaRoach> porn
<UWanker> no that is on my D drive, uh, I mean I don't have porn on my
          harddrive


* Istrain does his happy masturbation dance
<gnurgle> When I grow up, I won't remember that.
<gnurgle> Hopefully.
<_hAZE_> I will.
<_hAZE_> Unfortunately.


<fnord_> being human is so... limiting
<Xplosive> are you calling me stupid?
<fnord_> no, i'm calling you limited
<fnord_> not you, specifically, though
<fnord_> what i'm calling stupid is a broader collective of which you are part
<fnord_> a part
<Xplosive> uh...
<Xplosive> QUIT FUCKING CALLING ME STUPID.


<DarkDawg> what are the fucking systums anyway?
<DarkDawg> symptoms
<Trolan> symptoms of fucking.  stiffness, throwing up.  throbbing sensation.


<Spamanda> Chris, do you have even ONE sensitive bone in your body?
<Xplosive> yes.
<Spamanda> Just one then?
<Xplosive> it's protected by a cup most of the time though.
<Xplosive> it's pretty sensitive.


<sierra> i just put my foot in my mouth.. somehoe
<sierra> somehow
<sierra> but i dunno what the fuck i did
<sierra> fuck


<sierra> thank god he isn't turned on by man boobies.. otherwise he'd be all
         over me :(


<DaRoach> sierra's a fags name
<sierra> I'M NOT A FUCK, FAG.


<fnord_> my roommate is torturing his gf
<Trolan> showing her nekkid pics of you?
<fnord_> yes, well, but i offered him nekkid pics of you and he liked those
         better, so he started using them
<fnord_> that's when she really started screaming
<Trolan> course, something that size would make anyone scream
<fnord_> yeah, i've never seen genital warts that big


<Xplosive> kevin and i worked today for about 3 hours...we got paid $80 :D
<Xplosive> for 6 hours of work, from both of us...we got $80 :D
<fnord_> knees sore?


<fxyroxy7> Im a virgin
<DaRoach> compared to a 90 year old hooker youre a virgin
<fnord_> a 90 year old hooker? that's sick
<DarkDawg> uh.. gee thanks for that image mario
<DaRoach> what, did i kill your boner?
<DarkDawg> no


<Xplosive> when i pull down my pants, my pubic afro overtakes my head afro and
           no one can see me through all the hair...


<sierra> mmm
<sierra> my dinner ruled
* fnord_ punches sierra in the stomach, making him vomit it all over
* fnord_ eats it while it's still fresh 
<fnord_> mmm
<fnord_> sierra's dinner ruled
<Xplosive> that's sick
<fnord_> you're just jealous because i had a delicious dinner


<Spamanda> You shoulda seen yourself tuck-tail and run away like a little
           girl, today...
<Spamanda> hehehehehe
<Xplosive> Spamanda: you aimed for muh nuts, i ain't going to stand
           there...that'd be retarded.
<Spamanda> I DID NOT AIM FOR YOUR NUTS! If I was aiming for your nuts, I
           woulda gotten out a telescope or a magnifying glass or something.


<Xplosive> my family sucks dick.
<Xplosive> well, my sisters rule
<Trolan> leaves nbo questions as to why his sisters rule


<fnord_> 98 out of 400 of the forbes richest people live in california
<fnord_> 49 are in ny
<DaRoach> 98 out of 400 of the forbes richest people say "it's the cheese"
<DaRoach> 49 like rats


<DarkDawg> there is something i want to do first
<Kermy> get laid?
<DarkDawg> no
<DarkDawg> well
<fnord_> grow a brain?
<DarkDawg> yeah
<DarkDawg> but not yet
<DarkDawg> no


<Xplosive> even the guy that works at taco bell looks out for kevin..
<Xplosive> we drove up to the window tonight, and the guy says "you know, this
           shit isn't healthy"
<Xplosive> he said that.
<Xplosive> "this shit"
<Xplosive> i laughed, because it was funny...to hear an employee of a company
           badmouth the shit they sell.
<Xplosive> it was funny enough not to get me mad about their messup on our
           order.
<Xplosive> i ordered rootbeer, not pepsi
<Xplosive> i got pepsi.


<_hAZE_> This lady offered me a tech support job at Budwesier. =)
<daed> but uh
<daed> why does budwesier need tech support?
<daed> "my beer wont open."


<Xplosive> pascal's triangle is used for multiplying binomials out to certain
           powers... i.e: do (a+b)^27 without using pascal's triangle...
* DaRoach is away, headache [TG]


<UWanker> he has a circus in his pants
<UWanker> mostly a frerak show


<Xplosive> i'm comfortable.
<Xplosive> NO FUCKING WAY
<Xplosive> RIGHT WHEN I GET REALLY, REALLY COMFORTABLE, I NEED TO PISS.
<Xplosive> MOTHER FUCKING...


<DarkDawg> you may be high priest but jeff is either bob or first
          discble
<DarkDawg> descyple
<fnord_> uh
<DarkDawg> hmm...
<fnord_> stop hurting yourself, justin


<DaRoach> hire a translater
<DaRoach> have him sit next to your computer
<DaRoach> and type when you need a spanish translation
<DaRoach> thats what i did
* DaRoach pets Raul


<Xplosive> to be bill gates' kid is like hitting the sperm lottery.


<Bascha> jeff who is kirby?
<fnord_> kirby is a foul creature of evil
<Bascha> i see
<Bascha> does he ever go on here
<fnord_> he is everyhere
<fnord_> he is the essence of evil
<fnord_> he is the corporeal manifestation of all that is bad
         in the world
<Bascha> hehe
<Bascha> ok ok he's your bed buddy
<Bascha> i get it


<sierra> I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I COULD JUST BUST OUT INTO A MASSIVE
         MASTURBATION SESSION WITH MY BIG TOE.


* dead_end is away [ Is trying to find out what the fuck smells like oatmeal
   and WHY it smells like oatmeal ]
<Xplosive> maybe you should wipe your ass next time you take a shit.


<DarkDawg> oo i don;t have a dot here, looks liek a comma


<Trolan> let's see.. predictions of summer activities in this channel.  chris:
         masturbating.  justin: masturbating to shemales while trying to cyber
         them.  mario: kicking his computer.  sierra: being an idiot..  jeff:
         laughing at sierra's idiocy.
<DarkDawg> damn it SHE WAS NOT A SHE-0MALE MOTHER FUCKER!


* Xplosive becomes erect.
<Xplosive> god, i love that ability...


<GoneRoach> you must have a microsoft penis
<GoneRoach> big
<GoneRoach> heavy
<GoneRoach> expensive
<GoneRoach> then you realize most of that is the manual
<GoneRoach> and it ends up not working right
<GoneRoach> and it crashes when its about to do something good


<Xplosive> AAA [Anony!Anonymous@oceana1076.nasoceana.navy.mil] a/s/l?
<Xplosive> ..(msg[anony]) HEY, ASSMASTER, GET OFF IRC WHEN YOU'RE BEING PAID
           BY MY TAX DOLLARS AND GO BLOW UP SOME GAY ASS COUNTRY.


<Bl0odRoSE> hrmms
<Bl0odRoSE> heeh
<Bl0odRoSE> hehe
<Bl0odRoSE> i love farting


<PitBull> you can't see the top of my desk anyway....just a big pike of shit
          with a monitor sticking out :)


<prine> something smells like shit... mom must be cooking again.


* Cowboy_Up groand
<Cowboy_Up> damnit i hate when i break myt nose


<Xplosive>  Wu^wear!Darkdata@HSE-Montreal-ppp19410.qc.sympatico.ca  do u rip
            dvds?
<Xplosive> >  Wu^wear  no.
<Xplosive>  Wu^wear!Darkdata@HSE-Montreal-ppp19410.qc.sympatico.ca  siteop?
<Xplosive> >  Wu^wear  no.
<Xplosive>  Wu^wear!Darkdata@HSE-Montreal-ppp19410.qc.sympatico.ca  currier?
<Xplosive> >  Wu^wear  no.
<Xplosive>  Wu^wear!Darkdata@HSE-Montreal-ppp19410.qc.sympatico.ca  what do u
            do?
<Xplosive> >  Wu^wear  masturbate.


<Kie> ya know... when i was in elementary school, i remember thinking about
      how old i'd be when the year 2000 came around.. i thought i would be so
      old.. i mean, 23.. that's darned old when youre like 8 or 9...
<DaRoach> kie: i figured i'd be flying around in a car
<DaRoach> and i am
<DaRoach> just not the way i imagined


<DaRoach> i'll shove a fire flower up your ass dylan
<dead_end> I'll impale you on a spear made of thorn bushes
<dead_end> then i'll rape your cattle and burn your mom
<DaRoach> i'll grin and bare it
<DaRoach> then i'll rape your sisters, dig up your grandpa and eat his corpse
<dead_end> i'll grin and bare it
<DaRoach> then i'll skin your snake collection and make some boots
<dead_end> i'll steal your stamp collection and make a tacky suit out of it
<DaRoach> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<DaRoach> FUCK YOU!@#()*#)$(*#$
<DaRoach> i'll pee on your backstreet boys collection
<DaRoach> and make a tacky suit out of it
<dead_end> i'll wipe my ass on your hanson collection
<sewshi> no one will destroy my 98 degrees collection!
* dead_end is eating Cooler Ranch chips with Frito Jalapeno Cheddaer cheese
   dip and two Pop Tarts.
* DaRoach shoots at jesses 98 degrees collection with a cd launcher loaded
   with 'n syncs christmas albums
<sewshi> :(
* DaRoach is eating dylan grampa corpse chips with tart marrow and slushy worm
<dead_end> grandpa
<DaRoach> aint so grand now, is he?


<DarkDawg> i'll help will do things he really can;t
<Trolan> what? like grab his dick?
<DarkDawg> i wanted too


<SnoMan> QUICK
<SnoMan> GIVE ME A CREATIVE WITTY INSULT!
<fnord_> "you suck"
<DarkDawg> YOU SUCK!


<Xplosive> i've got my own palm pilot.
<Xplosive> ... my penis.


<DiscoDog> dont you hate when tehre is a pimple inside of your nose
<DiscoDog> and you search around to try to find it
<DiscoDog> and then you discover its on the outside :(
<DiscoDog> then it looks like yew were pickin yer nose the whole time
<DiscoDog> and then you tell a channel like #bye about it
<DiscoDog> and get proper treatment for doing so
<Trolan> Hey DiscoDog [THWAP!]


<sierra> tequilla
<sierra> gooda
<sierra> that mkes me feel better on the type of stuff
<sierra> ya
<sierra> somethign along thoe lines


<Xplosive> and my mom was talking to some of the workers there, that she's
           known for a long time
<Xplosive> telling them how responsible i was and shit...
<Xplosive> BOY DO I HAVE HER FOOLED.
<Xplosive> "i can leave him home and we can go off for a weekend, no
           problems."
<Xplosive> AHHAA
<Xplosive> just don't come home unexpectedly...
<Xplosive> or early.


<fnordtoo> i can't movew
<DaRoach> jeff sucks
<DaRoach> he can't move
<DaRoach> he's broke his neck sucking himself off


* prine wins
* prine does his happy happy win dance
* Xplosive does his "lose, lose and kick sierra in the nuts" dance.
* prine does his ah fuck, he kicked me in teh nuts dance"


<prine> ugh, i hate it when i take a big shit and get my balls all wet


<fnord_> justin in coveralls, farmer's hat, chewing on tobacco
<fnord_> holding a beer
<fnord_> he spits, "i done that"
<DarkDawg> i did
<DarkDawg> i have done that at one time
<DarkDawg> no
<DarkDawg> that is not right
<fnord_> he says he's worn coveralls, a farmer's hat, and was chewing 
         tobacco and holding a beer at one time
<DarkDawg> i have doen that before
<DarkDawg> fuck you jackass


<Xplosive> yerb; let's phone bone, i've got a prepaid phone card in one hand
           and my hard cock in the other.


<ridlo> my erection has neared perfection.


<yerb> o/~ DEAF POWER o/~


<Xplosive> why the fuck do you make me do all this shit while i'm trying to
           download porn!~?
<prine> because i'm to busy downloading porn


<Kermy> hey kaylie do you have a "clit?"
<Kaylie> Hey kermy want to come see if I do?
<Kermy> nah don't want to die from the stench
<Kaylie> haha why do guys always say that about girls
<Kaylie> ok its not like you guys taste good
<Kaylie> or smell good
<Kaylie> so i'd shut my mouth if i were you
<_hAZE_> Uh.
<_hAZE_> I've sucked quite a bit of penis.
<_hAZE_> And I happen to enjoy it.
<_hAZE_> So maybe it's a problem with YOU.


*** fnord2 (jrf4789@grace.isc.rit.edu) has joined channel #bye
<yerb> good evening jeff
<Trolan> fuck off jeff
<Trolan> there
<Trolan> now it's balances


<fnord2> if i see it, i quote it
<Xplosive> i have a similar thinking style to masturbating
<Xplosive> if i see it, i masturbate to it


<Xplosive> i always cry when i watch the transformers cartoon.
<Xplosive> i cry because the decepticons kick the shit out of the other guys
<Xplosive> i cried when i watched the princess bride...when andre the giant
           comes out to fight.
<yerb> and you're calling me stupid?
<Xplosive> i'm not stupid, you fucking idiot...i'm emotionally enhanced.
<Xplosive> i cry when i watch volkswagen commercials too.


<Xplosive> yeh, chicks are now born with dd tits and makeup on their faces
           now.


<dead_end> i've taken many a drug
<dead_end> and look where it got me
* dead_end wipes the drool off his shirt.


<yerb> my druango is wrecked
<yerb> just a little mudriding accdient that involved a rock and a tree
<Bascha> oh shit
<Bascha> are you dead?


* Bascha farts on prine
* prine` farts on julia
<Bascha> you call that a fart
<Bascha> come on!
* prine` tries harder
* prine` shits all over julia
<Bascha> aaahhh!
<prine`> oops, tried to hard
<Bascha> you fucker!
<prine`> hehehe
* Bascha jumps on sierra and smaears in all over him
<Bascha> how ya like them apples!


<prine> (_/_) ~ (_I_) ~ (_\_) ~ (_I_) ~ (_o_)
<prine> (_/_) ~ (_I_) ~ (_\_) ~ (_I_) ~   8
<f1> ugh 


<fnord_> man, where are my grades?
<DaRoach> Sex Ed: F-
<DaRoach> English: Si
<DaRoach> Computer Arts: @
<DaRoach> Sign Language: See Teacher
<DaRoach> Liberal Art: FUCK YOU! I WILL NOT BE FORCED TO USE A LETTER BETWEEN
          A - F! Z! Z YOU GET! I AM THE LIBERATOR!
<DaRoach> there are your grades
<DaRoach> bitch